Atlantean Hoard

Subject: Cloak and Dagger


Posted by wash aka Dave
Monday, April 07, 2003 at 05:31:52

"soz" ONLY ME , I was out with older brother Zorrow for his 45th birthday and looking for a bit of a jape. After a couple of beers the " where should we go next" line happened.. Dagger V Sandy ensued, not the best looking vision of the night but what a pair of ..... ( insert dead heat in a Zepplin race) we returned to "dog shit" Island for a couple of cans instead, alas sine 1976( when Greenwhich and IVA Richards were putting on 300 for the second wicket) I learned no more white "DS" greets the crowds..


Subject: days afoot


Posted by zorro
Sunday, April 06, 2003 at 03:06:45

it has reached my ears that two strippers from somewhere in yorks who go by the names of hubris and nemesis may soon be entertaining us all. any more info, chaps? steadfastly yours z.


Subject: Head of pins


Posted by RM
Thursday, April 03, 2003 at 09:45:24

I had a brief spell where I went to the Killone on a Monday during the winter for the CIU games league, and who should shatter the long standing illusion that he was thicker than Stiffs glasses, none other than Sandy, who could calculate darts scores, doubles and checkouts faster than you can say Sandy. Obviously brain size is nothing to do with head size!!!! Harry Dagger was also a dogged medium pacer at Dalton CC for years, with an amazing capacity for post match beer but sadly not for showers. Finally, I remember the Victoria on School St? having a superb snug where anyone of any age could get served, as long as you kept out of the bar. It served us well until we had the balls to go into the Steelies or the White Lion on Slater St


Subject: Back 'ome


Posted by '76er
Tuesday, April 01, 2003 at 07:07:27

I thought you still lived there, or are you not Mr Shaw? Funny you mentioning Sandy, I was watching Men in Black on video the other day and was reminded of him.


Subject: spoons


Posted by wash
Tuesday, April 01, 2003 at 04:35:25

on a recent visit back home 'The railway" seems to be the only pub that does any business mid week, unless one considers Harry Dagger playing darts against Sandy ( of small head)alternative entertainment in the travs


Subject: De de, de Der, de Derr


Posted by European
Thursday, March 27, 2003 at 12:28:41

But could you hear the dubbed dialogue from beneath the burden?


Subject: Cesar


Posted by EW
Thursday, March 27, 2003 at 09:30:15

but surely the poignant moment when it was thought that Sebastian was lost in the avalanche must rank as a high spot in TV drama??


Subject: Tits


Posted by European
Thursday, March 27, 2003 at 07:00:25

People who watched all those crap progs like Belle & Sebastian, the Danish Robinson Crusoe, White Horses, etc etc


Subject: Recognition!!!


Posted by Dave Walmsley
Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 18:42:59

1967 Photo Part 1 Row 3.08 - just recognised myself on the photo! Don't we all look young? I'm still living in Barrow and am a cook. Married to Sue (also an ex-BGS pupil) with a teenage daughter Kate. Please get rid of the old school song as I absolutely hated it!!! Keep up the good work, All the best, Dave


Subject: hubris/nemesis/tits


Posted by John K
Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 13:14:46

Words Mr Cassidy unsuccessfully attempted to insert into Barrow RL match reports.

e.g.
He was sent to the sin bin for showing his hubris to the referee.

He kicked the ball as far as the Nemesis agent played by Alexandra Bastedo in 'The Champions'

.....You know, the one with tits like coconuts


Subject: Sword of Justice


Posted by Gordon Bennet
Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 19:26:24

Greek arroganceia


Subject:


Posted by TSK
Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 15:32:20

Diseases of the nether regions?


Subject:


Posted by EW
Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 13:42:29

Gods of ancient Egypt .. right?


Subject: hubris/nemesis/tits


Posted by zorro
Saturday, March 22, 2003 at 22:12:43

good story, russell. we are on the case. yours aye, graham greene


Subject: Hartington


Posted by Ciaran
Friday, March 21, 2003 at 19:16:26

The Hartington used to have small rooms too. I think I had my first pint there a pint of Pipers!! Me and my mate Bill White used to go there but as looked nowhere near 18 (even when i was 18) (and even in my multicolourd platform shoes) I had to wait in one of the rooms without a bar for my beer to be bought by my mates. Travellers was one of the other places I could drink and hide


Subject: Travellers


Posted by John K
Friday, March 21, 2003 at 10:59:00

My opinion of the Travellers Classic was severely tainted by a disturbing incident on my 18th.

Somehow, I was talked into dispensing birthday kisses to all of the old grannies that congregated there, and was groped by one - it didn't half sober me up quickly.

As you can tell, the nightmare lives with me to this day.


Subject:


Posted by
Friday, March 21, 2003 at 10:52:48


Subject: Good Pubs


Posted by Wild Rover
Wednesday, March 19, 2003 at 20:22:45

But not as interesting as the 'old style' Travellers, nearby, in the days when it had little snugs. Shame it sold only Younger's pretend beer, though.


Subject: Robin Hood


Posted by John K
Monday, March 17, 2003 at 16:50:01

A great pub well worth a detour on our regular Friday night crawl.

Can anyone tell me, do the gents' toilet walls still look like someone has thrown up their scrambled eggs?


Subject: Robin Hood


Posted by Robin B*****d
Saturday, March 15, 2003 at 09:36:19

Haven't been there since Hartleys ceased to be Hartleys. When it was real the pub was great and I recall many happy late evenings, completely blotto in the bar.


Subject: Reliable Barrow


Posted by William Tell
Saturday, March 15, 2003 at 06:34:57

Next visit try the Robin Hood - they to still sell shite beer after all these years.....


Subject: Event in Barrow


Posted by John Henry Bull
Wednesday, March 12, 2003 at 21:29:42

Paid a visit to the ol' town the other week to find that the bar in the Bay Horse has been knocked through, apparently several years ago. Don't remember any mention of it on the BBC News. Funny, that. Still, at least the beer was as terrible as before. Good to know there are some things you can rely on despite the relentless march of so-called "progress".


Subject: Ticky tacky


Posted by Dregs
Saturday, March 08, 2003 at 17:36:59

I went to a Car Boot sale just off Salthouse Road whilst visiting a couple of years ago. Some t*** was selling home-burned counterfeit CD's and shouting it out, bragging about how much he was making out of it. Rozzers couldn't give a monkeys - too busy barricaded in on the Vulcan. Lots of baby toys covered in dried mucus - went like a bomb.


Subject:


Posted by Advertiser
Saturday, March 08, 2003 at 13:28:59

three boxes of household bric-a-brac, suit car boot sale, £8 the lot


Subject: Dak


Posted by Disbeliever
Saturday, March 01, 2003 at 23:20:42

It's an imposter.


Subject: Dak White


Posted by Ern
Friday, February 28, 2003 at 22:16:49

That cannot be you Derek, posting at 9:40 in the morning!


Subject:


Posted by Karen Beattie
Friday, February 28, 2003 at 21:54:54


My husband has started to wax his balls and I'm

Subject:


Posted by Advertiser
Friday, February 28, 2003 at 19:30:57

Childs car booster seat £5, bottle steriliser £5, Haynes manual for Hillman Avenger £3, box of corks for wine making (over 100) £2, duvet cover, floral print £3 matching pillowcases............... Almost as interesting as "Evening Mail"


Subject:


Posted by IT
Monday, February 10, 2003 at 10:51:01

Great picture of the Tyne Bridge!


Subject: Tony the Caulker


Posted by Ciaran
Sunday, February 09, 2003 at 19:43:02

Tony is still roaming around the Barrow pubs with that strange look on his face though I believe his caulking days are over!! Speaking of Tony's haven't seen Tony marsden back in town for a long time. are you still out there Tony?


Subject: Artful hairline


Posted by feeling everyone
Sunday, February 09, 2003 at 18:17:19

Odd you should describe him as the receding minstre. He's touring England in March. The photo in the adverts shows that high set 1960's fuzz still there, with an only slightly older-looking face beneath it. It's as though there's a strange eternal lifeforce flowing 'twixt the three clones.


Subject: art garfarkel


Posted by feeling groovy
Sunday, February 09, 2003 at 07:41:38

Mr. Garfarkel did in fact perform a concert here in the Antipodes a couple of months ago. Not being spurred into attending by the receding minstrel, perhaps I should have, if only to verify that there is no skullduggery in Urswick churchyard.


Subject: Elvis


Posted by Sid scam
Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 12:12:00

On arrival at the theatre bar last night (Barrow's premier nightspot for old boy reunions) I witnessed Elvis leaving the building.....has anyone spotted Tony the caulker shambling around recently?


Subject: Doppelgangers


Posted by Neil
Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 22:16:22

No, and Mr Eaton was never in the art room with Shirley, either. My BBGS memories are becoming a little bit Royston Vasey...... hello Dave.


Subject: Ron Garfunkel


Posted by John K
Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 14:31:04

Has anyone else noticed that you never saw Ron Horrocks and Art Garfunkel in the same room at the same time?


Subject: The aliens are back


Posted by Neil
Friday, January 24, 2003 at 20:47:01

Double helix?


Subject: Art Horror


Posted by Neil
Friday, January 24, 2003 at 20:46:02

Whatever happended to Art Garfunkel? He seemed to fade away around 1969/70. Hmmm, funny, that.


Subject: Art Horror


Posted by Neil
Friday, January 24, 2003 at 20:41:34

Whatever happened to Art Garfunkel? He seemed to sort of fade away around 1969/70. Hmmm, funny, that.


Subject:


Posted by Ern
Friday, January 24, 2003 at 19:25:12

A trifle unsettling that!


Subject: Experiments in Breeding


Posted by Sir Archibald Garrod
Friday, January 24, 2003 at 09:19:07

Kinematiscope images of Furness experimentation


Subject: Squeak, wheeze, etc


Posted by Grunt
Friday, January 17, 2003 at 17:08:44

My left foot and iron lung - cheeky sod.


Subject: Gold Star


Posted by Phil Read
Friday, January 17, 2003 at 10:46:44

350 or 500cc?


Subject: Gold Star


Posted by Grunt
Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 19:32:08

.... umless, of course, you're one of my favourites, one of the intelligentsia, someone I think will go on to better things and needs to think highly of me. If that's the case, I'll kiss your arse. 'squeak', wheeze, 'squeak', wheeze, 'squeak'


Subject: Gold Star


Posted by Gallimore
Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 12:55:14

No. If you ask again you'll get a waft of my breath.


Subject: MacBeth


Posted by Das Fingershlippen
Monday, January 06, 2003 at 22:58:22

Done that....do I get a gold star now?


Subject: III'd Class


Posted by It's teatime
Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 17:04:55

No. Memorise Macbeth and recite in the quad at 3:45 pm tomorrow. Quote from the back of a packet of IKEA Swedish Meatball sauce, just about to be consumed - "Pour 2,5dl of cold water.....1dl of cream...and the suace into a cauldron and boile"


Subject: What's a Richaed?


Posted by Das Fingershlippen
Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 16:55:08

Truly gentlemen, a bloody tyrant and a homicide. One raised in blood and one in blood established. A base foul stone made precious by the foil of England's chair.......do I get a gold star?


Subject: Winter of our discontent


Posted by W A N Kimber
Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 16:19:58

What's a Richaed?


Subject: Identity


Posted by Richaed Haley
Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 10:00:09

I know exactly who you all are....what's a Dakwhite?


Subject: MB/MacGuiness


Posted by SOS
Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 17:17:38

Michael Benson???


Subject: Ensigns Dipping


Posted by Vagabond of the Western World
Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 00:13:43

Sean MacGuiness - you can't really be Richard Haley. Richard Haley was a genius who knew everything about everything but wouldn't have even acknowledged Dak White's existence even if he knew who he was (which I doubt, so he can't really have known everything). You do seem to acknowledge Dave Hill (help, help, I sweat still) and nice ole Bernie's benevolence, but this could be a pickup from old postings. The clincher, however, is that as the 1970's R Haley I recall, you would NEVER visit the Theatre Bar (or any other). Enigma?


Subject: Live at the Theatre bar


Posted by Sid Scam
Friday, January 03, 2003 at 23:26:37

Could be worth renting a "box" in the market arcade to promote the disc! under the name of "Natural Disaster Records" - we could fill it up with all our weird prog rock album covers and appoint a dodgy long haired druid to loiter behind the counter just to make it look like a real record shop. Can't go wrong, I'll write the business plan....hm...I think I already have...


Subject: Theatre Bar


Posted by Elvis
Friday, January 03, 2003 at 23:15:13

Oh no don't remember there being a camera.....can't afford another divorce.....good job I'm invisible after 8 pints!


Subject: live at the Theatre Bar


Posted by seamus macguinness
Friday, January 03, 2003 at 23:13:23

Somehow I always knew that year in the choir (69-70) would be put to good use. We are going into the studio in February and an album, provisionally entitled I Shall Stick You To The Gate will be released in the summer on DakWhiteEternalHero records. A single, I Dreamed I Saw Dave Hill Last Night backed with Sprint To Me will precede this event. Great night, well worth the 'Map of Africa' on the morning linen. Have a useful 2003. - Richard Haley.


Subject: I know, cause I was there!


Posted by Bisa
Friday, January 03, 2003 at 10:32:36

On stage was in fact the very same BBGS reporter {FJC}, backed by the BBGS 'pub singers'!! {MB & PJB}. It was quite an experience; hopefully to be repeated at Easter. Coming home to Barrow can be fun after all. Photographic evidence to follow!


Subject: Theatre Bar


Posted by Elvis
Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:14:20

I to witnessed this great occasion, pity the ex BBGS NW Evening mail "pub reporter" was nowhere to be seen, otherwise it could have made the front page notwithstanding Walney trying to steal the headlines.


Subject: Theatre Bar


Posted by Sean McGowan
Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:08:59

While recently indulging in some cultural therapy in said establishment I was hurled back to my youth by the sound of "Westaway the seas lie open.." hammering out from the Karaoke stage. Judging by the appearance of the three ne'r do wells on the stage they were undoubtedly Risedale (aka Netto) boys taking the piss.


Subject: Furness Railway to start, then the town's your oys


Posted by
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 21:10:52

Pavement Oyster, surely?


Subject:


Posted by Walter Beery
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 18:06:04

No, you can't, I do that.


Subject: Christmas Drinks in Barrow


Posted by Paul Bispham
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 17:42:20

Furness Railway it is then! Boxing Day lunch (and probably most of the afternoon). Wonder if I'll see anyone I know? I'll wear a bald patch and a beer belly so people will recognise me..........


Subject:


Posted by
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 16:33:37

Makes you throw better after ten, though not quite as well as '70's keg bitter. Brew X same again (why, for God's sake?); Tankard , makes you a man(nequin); Worthington E's the beer (that tends to send you queer); Whitbread Trophy Big Head (quite the opposite - no totty could attract after a few of those). All these available at those great pubs - Barrow Arms; Regal; Travellers Rest; Cross Keys etc etc etc. Or you could go to a party with a.... Party Seven (yurrrrghhhh!). Working Men's Clubs and the like were a bit better , still keg beer , but somehow more palatable, Federation, Vaux at the Cemetery Cottages, British Legion or Preston St WMC. I would suggest, Paul that you head for the Furness Railway to start, then the town's your oyster. Cheers!


Subject:


Posted by Walter
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 13:13:06

Yeah but it's not as diuretic.


Subject: Dos - Ten pints of lager?!


Posted by Paul Bispham
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 13:01:35

Lager?! Surely you can still find the odd pint of decent Real Ale in Barrow?


Subject: Dos


Posted by Walter Sports
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 12:46:31

How about a piss-up in Great Urswick Churchyard, everyone to be wearing mail-order incontinence trousers. Ten pints of lager each.
No its OK, excuse me and please continue with your arrangements.


Subject: Home for Christmas - Christmas Dooze


Posted by Paul Bispham
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 07:24:04

I'm up for a few drinks over Christmas; 'just wondering' do you fancy naming a venue and suggested time??


Subject:


Posted by Web Sausage
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 20:23:39


Subject: Christmas treats


Posted by Neil
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 17:29:43

Olde English Spangles were a cracker - a bit of a festive hint to them too. Apologies if this is seen as advertising. I have no connection with the following firm, but for those who devour meat at Christmas I recommend a visit to www.richardwoodall.co.uk of Waberthwaite near Millom. Lots of fabulous pig products, especially the Cumbria Mature Royal Ham (raw, black and irresistable) and you can still get them mail order before Christmas. Luvverly!


Subject: All the tots on you!!


Posted by John K
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 16:20:39

You'll be buying packets of Fruit Salads and Black Jacks next. Now, if I could find a shop selling Aztec bars, or Olde English Spangles, that would be a treat.


Subject: Tunnocks.


Posted by IT
Friday, December 13, 2002 at 16:12:45

Yes, they seemed wonderful once, but I bought a bargain pack from the local Safeway last week and was hugely disappointed. Now Tunnock's marshmallows, on the other hand.. what a biscuit!


Subject: Wagon Wheels


Posted by John K
Friday, December 13, 2002 at 08:24:22

I always looked forward to hot vimto and a wagon wheel, after swimming at Abbey Road Baths. However, I have to say, looking back, they were always crap.


Subject: Christmas Dooze


Posted by Just wondering
Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 19:26:19

Is there any kind of reunion planned for returning BBGS Old Boys in Barrow over the CHristmas holidays? (How do you spell "Dooze", "do's", "does" - where's Bill Shephard !


Subject: Important Question


Posted by IT
Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 22:14:49

Have 'Wagon Wheels' always been crap or aren't they the same as they used to be?


Subject: Porrasturvat


Posted by Three at Primary
Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:39:39

My kids love it but they refuse to call him "Ron", preferring "Buttkiss" (a play on their former headmaster's name, Mr Buttle.


Subject:


Posted by Litmus
Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:54:10

Porrasturvat haha push Ron down the stairs.. repeatedly


Subject: No kids yet.


Posted by IT
Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 08:28:09

Your messages make me feel ancient.


Subject: Elderly children


Posted by Three at Primary
Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 18:31:22

Bizza , that means you were 19 when your wife had the first. I suppose it has it's advantages - you're now free.


Subject: Sodor


Posted by IOM
Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 18:27:04

70 inches of rain in Douglas over the past two montyhs. Ho hum......


Subject: Photo update


Posted by Paul Bispham
Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 12:10:23

1972 photo, part 3, 2.9 is NOT 'Russell Fletcher', it's me! and I noticed my sister on the girls 1977 photo (I'll drop her a line to have a look). I'm alive and well and living in Reading, been in the south since 1985.I was married and have three grown up children still living in Barrow, Jennifer (25) - Stephenie (22) and Johnathan (20). Working mainly as an IT Project Manager, currently contracting to Siemens working on the commissioning of the new Royal Mail sorting office in Langley. Paul J Bspham


Subject: still working?


Posted by curious
Friday, November 29, 2002 at 15:47:36

blah blah


Subject: International


Posted by Sir Bobby Robson
Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 19:34:28

For a more accurate translation see www.axxxxfxxtball.com Cool site.


Subject: That was quick


Posted by Noah
Monday, November 25, 2002 at 18:53:36


Subject: Gilgamesh


Posted by Methuzaleh
Monday, November 25, 2002 at 18:36:38

However, God's grace was with Noah, because Noah loved God and believed His word. Thus, one day God said to Noah: I have purposed the death of all mankind because the earth is filled with wickedness. I will bring a great flood upon the earth, to destroy everything which lives under the heavens. As for you, you are to build a large ark (boat) to be a refuge for you and your family. And the chief engine master shall be Stoker, who shall fuel the beast. Stiff shall be the Slug without a mate for it cannot maketh it to the Ark with timeliness.


Subject:


Posted by Radagast the Careers Officer
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 13:54:57

It took a disappointingly long time for that phrase to be spotted. But don't expect a flood.


Subject: Daft Lads


Posted by Sad Tolkein Freak
Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 13:36:06

How long will it be before we receive runic postings? Those of us that are highly amused by twattish obscure languages should continue the take-over. The rest of you can £^)* 0££.


Subject: Iyi'aksamla


Posted by IT
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 20:08:09

Just looked it up in my Minisozlugu and it's really rather rude. Whoever wrote it must be a bit of an orospu cocugu in my opinion.


Subject:


Posted by IT
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 19:56:26

Having visited the testcard gallery at http://www.meldrum.co.uk/mhp/testcard/bbc_test.html I can confirm that the little girl was actually playing naughts and crosses, not writing 'siktir git' whatever that means.


Subject: Who was that guy who wore mascara twenty years ago


Posted by Alan Armer
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 23:08:20

The only one that I can remember wearing mascara was Ray Turner. Have no fear I can speak on his behalf, this was symptomatic of both his sense of humour and his curiosity as to what Cash or Moonhead might say. I don'y actually remember then offering any comment. Ray (and I) left in April 75.Alan


Subject: Ulverston


Posted by Doc SAvage
Friday, November 15, 2002 at 10:52:34

The home of fine art and Shirley. Perhaps enough time has passed now for the culprit to reveal himself? Who did nick Shirley's copy of Silver Surfer #17 ... he went on about it for years!


Subject:


Posted by Ern
Friday, November 15, 2002 at 08:45:12

Stripey leggined drummers in Ulverston! Surely not! I thought they were the preserve of the wealthier classes down here in Somerset - you know - leave school, 5 years smoking mushroom compost in a green van with Stig of the Dump and then back to Daddy for a mortgage when they get (or, indeed get someone) pregnant.


Subject: "revealed they made him a freak"


Posted by Noli
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 22:11:26

My memories fade but I don't think that particular passage referred to me


Subject: Philip Jose Farmer


Posted by Avid Sun Reader
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 18:26:31

I remember a book what I read once. Are you the same Noli who 'with a ripping fart, shot out a long turd'? It's a good read that Pastor Ken recommended to me a long long time ago, along with the Bible. I can't get away with the Bible, though - there aren't any pictures in it, or sports pages.


Subject:


Posted by Pastor Ken
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:16:06

Yes Nolli but if all those people hadn't indulged in hideous sexual practices then God wouldn't have punished them with the scourge, and yet at same time answered my prayers for a good mortgage valuation


Subject: Drums


Posted by Noli
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:12:25

I was shocked to hear of redundancies at Glaxo! My God not Ulverston, say it ain't so. What will they do when they start to resemble their lesser known mad relative-in-the-cellar Barrow? This could spell the end of the artistic commune that has set up residence in this idyllic town. Bands of itinerant stripey panted drummers roaming the area. On the upside it could clarify the ongoing moral dilemma of whether to work on Trident and the nasty nuclear weapons or just make a living by extorting all the remaining cash from dying Africans in return for AZT.


Subject:


Posted by Nalli Fatma
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:28:49

I think you'll find that's veiny


Subject: Curious


Posted by IT
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 12:16:15

Why is that girl writing 'Big Vein'?


Subject: Re: Normal


Posted by John Birt
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 08:47:03

And if it is, will we recognise it?


Subject: Normal


Posted by Greg Dyke
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 08:46:15

When will normal service be resumed?


Subject: Onanism


Posted by Pastor Ken
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 19:26:38

Dear Bewildered,Its possible that your problems stem from the fact that, unlike your girlfriend, you haven't found Christ yet. On the other hand you might want to send that toothbrush for DNA fingerprinting. I will offer further advice but it would simpler if you were to attend some of our youth meetings and perhaps tithe some of your salary to our community.


Subject: Straying from the path


Posted by Marry nuncle
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 18:19:57

The Blood of Christ clearly isn't sufficient after OralDean. Consult Stubbings Associates.


Subject: Recalcitrant Mississises


Posted by Wimple of the Baileys
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 18:13:45

Drink Listermint, hic.


Subject: On and On and On and Onanism..


Posted by B. Wildered
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 17:44:11

It's great having this direct line to our Lord's (Hallelujah!!) appointed mouthpiece. Could you tell me how to keep my young and impressionable girlfriend happy? She's taken to regular church meetings and when she gets back home, won't kiss me until after she's cleaned her teeth. Am I not holy enough, oh sacred tool of God (Halleluhah!! etc)? Would a candle help?


Subject:


Posted by Pastor Ken
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:39:04

Yeah brother... later I will be giving instruction to some young members of our community church.


Subject: 40 Days and 40 Nights in the Wilderness


Posted by Lost in Space
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:42:09

Pastor Ken!! I thought you were in Purgatory. Isn't it a pity that this page is so hard to find nowadays - we just don't get the same quality of erudition in the postings. Yea Lord! Hallelujah. Three more 'Hail Marys' and I can get back to some constructive onanism.


Subject:


Posted by a. gnostic
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:12:11

I wish someone would deliver us from that bloody page that crops up masquerading as the site home page. Where's the proper stuff?


Subject:


Posted by Pastor Ken
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:52:57

Oh Lord deliver us.


Subject: A Plagiarised, yet relevant, joke


Posted by
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:50:25

I hate Italians; those funny, slanted little i's. No, wait a minute, that's italics....


Subject:


Posted by Pastor Ken
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:48:28

Confess! You are just nostalgic for the old days now that you are banished to the barren wastes of Tyneside


Subject: Miss Taken Identity


Posted by Happy Clappy
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 13:36:59

That was no guy, that was my first girlfriend, a real Barrovian gal, hairy armpits, just covered (on a good day) by the top of her knickers and no pretensions. She'd laugh at cripples with the best of us.


Subject:


Posted by EW
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:20:39

Who was that guy who wore mascara twenty years ago?


Subject:


Posted by EW
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:14:06

And the Lord spake thus:"though shalt not make water in the trouser press neither shall thee make with the reach-around"


Subject: The Threaded Board


Posted by Self Righteous
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:02:55

I was wondering what's happened to the old site. It'll take a long time to find anywhere else that's as funny and topical, where old school jokes could be shared and we could amuse ourselves at the expense of those who are slightly different to the rest of us. Another example of the great British tradition of laughing at the handicapped or disadvantaged seems to have been shut down for reasons of political correctness.


Subject: Tabbing


Posted by Cut 'em up
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 17:09:51

Well, well. If one accidently hits the Tab key whilst composing a posting, the incomplete message is posted......Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Subject: Insider dealing


Posted by Cut 'em down
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 17:08:03

If you enter, you will note that the front is actually at the front and vice versa.I believe that the rumour of reversed orientation is a phallusy.


Subject: Insider dealing


Posted by Cut 'em down
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 17:07:11

If you enter, you will note that the front is actually at the front and vice versa.


Subject: Front Door Round the Back


Posted by D. Sanchez
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 14:35:08

Ah! that explains my moustache problem!


Subject:


Posted by "Hot" Carl
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 12:34:41

and why is the "front door" round the back?


Subject: Sex - what else?


Posted by Freud
Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:02:33

Which way was the town hall leaning?


Subject: Fonting about


Posted by String 'em up
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 17:55:16

It's the context, particularly the double spacing between the italicised phrase and the previous text......very sinister. As a matter of fact I did have an odd dream last week. the town hall clock tower was leaning and shedding it's masonry. There were kids in school uniform below. Perhaps it's time to go.


Subject:


Posted by Hitch
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 12:34:39

Threatened by italics. Tell us more... Perhaps a dream or two?


Subject:


Posted by String'em up
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 12:33:11

The italics are extremely menacing. You can't be a S******r though, they think a budget is a bird kept in a cage.


Subject:


Posted by Ern
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:53:52

Didn't some chap fromm xxxx do xxxx xxxx (the xxxx xxxxxx thing) - xxxxxxx or some such I think xx xxx xxxxx. Having just spent all afternoon in a budget planning meeting, I am ready to do the same!!

Oh shit - not again


Subject:


Posted by Raj Pseudo
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:33:43

Still it was a popular thread. A little like beating your ageing mother-in-law with a lump hammer... just when the gurgling stops and you think it is all over the ghastly board coughs back into life. I blame urban planners.


Subject:


Posted by Raj Pseudo
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:29:41

I am so upset at the blunt nature of the previous that I have decided to nail my head to a coffee table and inhale my collection of Willie Horne nail clippings.


Subject: Killing off the thread....


Posted by Embarrassing Roots
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:04:43

Two problems, the first being that most of the individuals are still alive, the second being that the contributors prepared to name names are too stupid to couch their support for the causes they nominate in language that doesn't offend or insult anyone with any intelligence. Like what I am.


Subject:


Posted by Carter-Fuck
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 13:50:32

Threats of legal action and a knee-capping from the infamous Stringer family threw a veil over further comments. The rest seemed a little uncharitable given this new vogue for care in the community.


Subject: Greatest Barrovians


Posted by IT
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 13:27:10

Hey.. what's the game.? Why have you killed off my highly popular thread, just when it was getting interesting (and libelous).


Subject: Cereal Board


Posted by Cheerio
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 12:54:04

My favourite Serial Killer is Hannibal Lecter and he doesn't exist. My next favourite is Eddie Fell 'cos he did.


Subject:


Posted by The Caped One
Friday, October 25, 2002 at 14:57:43

Heat the oil and put the cat out


Subject: Soulless Tossers


Posted by Wilf
Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 17:24:48

Sod off Fred


Subject: Leaving it out


Posted by Fred Robinson
Friday, June 07, 2002 at 20:11:46

Well said. They'll be posting the Ingerland score and passing anodyne footballing speak off as witty commentary any moment now - thank Chr*st I'm going on holiday.


Subject:


Posted by
Friday, June 07, 2002 at 19:59:12

Oh for f**ks sake leave it out!


Subject: Eclectic


Posted by A Dentist
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 16:11:23

It's 'electric' only with badly fitting dentures. This Sherlock Shaft sounds interesting, a character deserving of its own thread.


Subject:


Posted by Ern
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 12:52:32

Who knows? Perhaps we should ask Sherlock Shaft to solve the mystery?


Subject:


Posted by Latent insanity
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 12:43:48

What the hell does "eclectic" mean?


Subject:


Posted by Ern
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 12:10:35

Ya made my day EW.


Subject:


Posted by EW
Friday, May 31, 2002 at 10:00:32

No I've had a better idea.
"Sometimes, when I'm bored, I put a cape on my penis and solve mysteries."


Subject:


Posted by EW
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 16:42:03

Actually I'm a little disappointed that Stiff and Ron were pushed off the top spot.



Subject:


Posted by EW
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 16:58:07

Perhaps he could officiate at my cremation? In a last minute codicil I've requested 50 pounds of C4 be wedged up my arse prior to the big send off.


Subject: The Obituarists


Posted by Deathly Pale
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 16:15:39

No-one gets asked to produce obituaries that say, "miserable, bullying tw*t, kids hated him, glad he's six feet under". As a man of the cloth, Bump is probably using secret clerical code words that imply, "miserable, bullying tw*t, I hated him, glad he's six feet under" but LOOK a bit different and don't get him excommunicated. He has his trade to consider now, and needs to be asked to officiate at as many funerals as possible.


Subject:


Posted by EW
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 15:46:09

Is this Red Bull some kind of non-alcoholic "health" drink??Some sort of Spanish Fly for the brain?


Subject:


Posted by E
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 14:56:53

Well, it works on me - though I ingest it via the more traditional oral method. My singing is no better, but I don't care!


Subject:


Posted by EW
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 10:58:57

Does Red Bull work then?
I was hoping to do some remedial work on my vocal nuances this summer.


Subject:


Posted by EW
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 10:57:30

Well I don't imagine Ron offered accounts of his common assaults to Brian in the staff room and I don't blame him for producing his warm eulogy. I hope I receive the same degree of understanding if, on a caprice, I stop off in Gt Urswick to answer a call of nature over the final resting place of the miserable wretch.


Subject: Truth, Lies and 35mm film


Posted by
Monday, May 13, 2002 at 22:37:12

Ya know - it really pisses me off that an ex member of the staff (now a member of the cloth) should tell blatant lies about one of his contemporaries just 'cos he's dead. What happened to the truth Brian?


Subject: Truth and Lies


Posted by
Monday, May 13, 2002 at 22:16:55

This page contains obituaries for 'Big' Ronnie Horrocks (by Brian Otto - hey get real Brian!) and Pete Delaney (by Niel Rayner). You decide who was right!



Subject: Cultural loose connections


Posted by JP
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 16:51:58

Sorry IT, but my knowledge of popular beat music since the demise of The Smiths is in a state of some atrophy. Nowadays its limited to the name of one of the alleged two ‘non-butt-ugly-members of Steps’ (see Musicians Anonymous thread)... i.e. the luscious Faye (in or out of a walk-in bidet, I don’t care).


Subject: 11 plus


Posted by Ciaran
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 16:26:32

Talking with an old boy of the 60's this week at work who was convinced that in his era you could pay to get your lad into the school if you knew the right people.Can't be true, can it? Would anyone admit to that?Personally I'm convinced it was a better system than the allegedly better comprehensive system in place today which in good old B-i-F has produced a "grammar school" directly linked to the parents ability to pay and schools higher up the league table if they happen to be situated in more affuluent areas of the townvery sad


Subject: Walk in Bidet


Posted by I P Downward
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 14:08:27

Isn't that a swimming pool?


Subject: walk-in bidet


Posted by
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 11:17:23

Actually, if conveniently located adjacent to bog, a bidet is dandyfor foot-washing. Perhaps this is what was meant?


Subject:


Posted by EW
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 11:14:16

As the Queen walked across the nice new winking bridge I wondered if IT would make another appearance. Then this streaker ran up.


Subject: Rubbish!


Posted by E
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 10:51:04

Probably not, though she is reputed to be fond of colonic irrigation using up to 25 gallons of Red Bull at one 'sitting'. This explains the vocal nuances in her work.


Subject:


Posted by EW
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 10:20:08

Macy Gray?Does she have a walk-in bidet?


Subject:


Posted by Ern
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 09:03:36

Rab Butler was the Minister of Education in the coalition government formed by Winston Churchill in 1940. Butler's 1944 Education Act was an attempt to create the structure for the post-war British education system. The act raised the school-leaving age to 15 and provided universal free schooling in three different types of schools; grammar, secondary modern and technical. Butler hoped that these schools would cater for the different academic levels and other aptitudes of children. Entry to these schools was based on the 11+ examination.


Subject: JIll Scott


Posted by IT
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 08:20:53

Five stars... but I think Ms. Scott wrote both of the reviews!


Subject: Who is..?


Posted by IT
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 08:15:59

Jill Scott is, I believe, a protege of Macy Gray. 'Who is Jill Scott?' gets an average 5 star review on Amazon. If you have to ask 'Who is Macy Grey?' then it's time to ring the customer help line to see if your cultural connections are still functioning.


Subject: in mates


Posted by dave
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 02:24:00

I think I have asked this question before, but does anyone know when the 11+ became the bench mark for entry into the beloved school. what was the predeterminant before this? I suspect it was not a love of Bryan ferry, Northern Soul, The crankies, or any of the other journeys we have all walked for the past two years, enjoyable as they have been!


Subject:


Posted by
Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 20:07:07

Subject: BidetsPosted by ITFriday, May 03, 2002 at 17:58:01 If you walk into your bidet, your feet get wet. That isn't the general idea. Subject: Bidets.Posted by ITFriday, May 03, 2002 at 08:47:30 P.S. If you have never tried a walk-in bidet, I thoroughly recommend them.


Subject: Crap hoard


Posted by IT
Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 17:58:43

Whereabouts in the Atlantean crap hoard have my observations about walk-in bidets been buried?


Subject: eclectic


Posted by JP
Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 15:26:04

Alright, a bit late I know, but you got me... ‘Who the F*** is Jill Scott?’



Atlantean Hoard