Atlantean Hoard


Subject: regrets

Posted by paul sneesby
Tuesday, May 01, 2001 at 22:37:16

I wish I hadn't said that

Subject: Stretched Moon

Posted by Neil
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 16:43:05

It was marvellous, so was my day off.

Subject: Documentary Evidence

Posted by Ern
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 16:07:06

Thanks Ciaran, I've been looking forward to that documentary since I saw a trailer for it before Xmas - I intend to use it as a lesson/threat for my teenage son - 'if ya don't behave we'll move back there' kind of thing!


Posted by Ciaran
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 15:55:24

I believe the Fly in the Street Documentary Law of the Lakes to be screened tomomorrow in the Granada region at least, is devoted to the gaza.Should bring back fond memories for some of you old boys and make amusing watching for all your families.Changing the subject I found my School report book in the attic yesterday. I'll have to get the comments scanned in. Sadly most of them said could do better!!I did manage one first place in fifth year french which I'd forgotten aboutAu revoir

Subject: Suspended by the Moon

Posted by M D Sade
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 14:36:03

Sounds brilliant!

Subject: Lunchtime at last

Posted by Neil
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 12:39:42

So many postings on a Monday morn, can I have your jobs? The one and only time I had a fag (cigarette, that is) in the school building, the berobed Stoker duly caught me and I was promptly suspended by the Moon. What I want to know is why he was in the boys loo in the first place.


Posted by PFW

Subject: Subversives'n the House

Posted by Paul
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 10:31:50

Does the uberwebmeister recall an evening spent cowering in terror amongst smelly coats in a cloak room as "Batman" (or Stoker as we preferred to call him) spent half an hour prowling the corridors looking for us? We'd both jointly skipped our House meetings and were caught hiking home across the fields. As the cloaked one was some distance away, we ran but he chased after us. Luckily, that was in the days when people used to use cloak rooms to hang their coats in, and we, being but small boys had plenty of cover.

Subject: Man in the Ironed Mask

Posted by PFW
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 10:08:09

Subject: Subversion

Posted by Ern
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 09:58:58

Jeez, you boys were playin' at it weren't ya - I still can't detail my extra-curricular subversive activities for fear of arrest!!

Subject: Subversion

Posted by JP
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 09:43:44

Yep, ten sides off the Moon for singing ‘Lazybones’ (the Hoagy Carmichael tune, though the Jonathan King cover version that Ian Downward and I were attempting was the only way we knew it at the time) in the corridor outside the upstairs Geography rooms is the best I can muster, I’m afraid.

Subject: Regrets.. I have a be do be do

Posted by PFW
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 09:29:32

Not subversive enough eh? A little prosaic but my regret is that I did not have the wit to bring a bottle of "Daddies Sauce" each day. This simple step could have made the school meals more edible.
Do you know, I have a feeling that it should be "Daddies' Sauce". I'm sure Cash would know.

Subject: Census

Posted by JohnP
Monday, April 30, 2001 at 08:55:34

Well, that’s census day come and gone, and I haven’t filled my form in yet. If only I could have been this subversive back in school.
Any of you lot convert to Jedi for the day?

Subject: has anyone seen Ellis

Posted by paul sneesby
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 21:15:41

Yes Mr linson ,I believe you were responsible for the addition of Mr Ellis to the register in English.How long did we maintain the deception,months?,certainly several weeks.I believe someone even went to the trouble of handing in homework for him.On the subject of English Teacher baitingcan you remember Karl Smith's record for "get on" s in Wagger Wynns Lessons.I believe it to be around about 8 in one minute but things get a bit hazy.Tangentially, I can confirm the existance of Graham Spencer's trenchcoat.It was used frequently to cover him up at parties,usually about 7.30

Subject: CYC

Posted by Dave Cassidy
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 17:59:57

Have any of the readers shared their experiences about the "Tufty Club"I was there one night when all hell broke lose, even Father woods was beat up. As far as I remember Kizzy was involved. It was very scary as most people were either pissed out of their heads or on Glue or both. My mam would give me 50p and say have a good time. This would have to be spent immediately upon arrival or it would be borrowed by other older and larger children.

Subject: Trev Eales

Posted by Dave Cassidy
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 15:36:54

Trev Became an English Teacher!! Infact as I was in the last intake of the Grammar School 78-9and later a victim of the Parkview experiment. I had the experience of being taught English by him!Actually I don't remember anything he taught me but I do remember that he was the teacher for a while he may have been on teacher training

Subject: Michael Ellis

Posted by Thomas Linson
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 12:50:33

Which 3K or 4K alumnus is hiding behind that nom de plume?

"Night thickens and the crow makes wing to the rooky wood. Good things of day begin to droop and drowse, while night's black agents to their prey do rouse."

And I failed lit spectacularly.

Subject: Two things, 4H

Posted by JohnPE
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 12:18:53

Yes, I used to know Trevor Eales a little. Perhaps my friend Trev Curwen (or ‘damn fine Moles studio engineer Trev Tinsel’ of this archive) will know what career path he followed.

Meanwhile, it did occur to me that as the threat of push-ups was never actually implemented, that this might be some new fangled form of ‘post modern ironic games master’, but it was only a fleeting notion. After all, the idea of a PE teacher with a sense of self-parody is just too avant garde... even in this new millennium.

Subject: Son of Gomez

Posted by 3f
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 11:10:23

The son of Gomez was Trevor.I have no idea if he ever became a p.e.teacher.He was,however,part of the infamous 3f of 1970so he would have a good grounding in most perversions.

Subject: Two threads converge (food/poor? English)

Posted by JohnP (for pedant)
Friday, April 27, 2001 at 09:12:32

Neil, that ‘huge waitress served meal’ sounds fascinating. Are we talking clinically obese here, or was she just fat?

Subject: cloistered flights

Posted by Michael Ellis
Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 21:53:07

on the subject of poor english. do any of the chaps from 3K (4K?) rememberbeing kept back after school in Trimbles Eng Lit Class and not allow edhome until we could stand up in front of the remainder of dim wits and recite the soliloquy from Macbeth which began .. heres your starter.. There's comfort yet,they are much can you still remember I can get up to "keeps me pale" but my attendance never was that good and i failed lit in the end.Call it sixth sense but I get the feeling that sneesby's response to trainor was heavily edited and feel sure he is remorseful for the recurrent use of the word {to be censored) "p***ed"

Subject: Mess

Posted by Neil
Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 18:45:49

I've just been on my first military base today and dined at the Officer's Mess. Wow, what catering! a pint of Boddy's at 60p and a huge waitress served meal at £1.75. It reminds me of the marvellous BBGS school meals - yes I do miss them. Where else can one have 24 fish fingers or 60 prunes in one sitting? Unfortunately Cumbria came along in 1974 and started all that healthy salad rubbish. Does anyone have any tasty tales of BBGS dining excess?

Subject: Fares, Fairs and Fayre again !!!

Posted by Ciaran
Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 16:00:35

Bifore yew all start showting abowt mi inglish, i,m just and gloryfied spark reely.

Subject: Fares, Fairs and Fayre

Posted by Ciaran
Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 15:48:48

Come on Al give me a break, I never was much good at English I'm and engineer!!.They all tried to educate me though, Grunt 1st year, Tez 2nd, Wynn 3rd and Kimber 4th and 5th.There was a couple of couple of highlights, I did get 10/10 for a poem about April from Tez,probably the highlight of my literary career (he did accuse me of copying it).The other notable event was after an unlikely pass at English Language in the4th year, I had the pleasure of doing nothing for a whole year of Literature(didn't see the point of all that Reading and revising).When the exam came I wrote my name and walked out after the obligatory hourmuch to the disgust of the attending Masters!!Getty's that's the name Chez Paul was the previous incarnation that doubled up as a Ladies Hairdressers.

Subject: Ethanol

Posted by Graham Spencer
Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 11:24:54

I cannot think for one minute that Mr Sneesby & Mr Haney would ever be under the influence of intoxicating liqueur. One thing I have noticed with regard to old BBGS folks is the distinct liking for the above? is this a trait that we were brought up with, I seem to remember stitching an inside pocket into my trench coat (honest they were in fashion at the time)to sit my bottle in during incredibly exciting (mass?)Debating Society meetings.Or is it not the school but Barrow has this effect on people? It is certainly one thing I miss, a "decent" English pub on every corner.The only thing out here that resembles that are some rather tasty Brew pubs.What do other ex-pats miss the most?

Subject: Spookier

Posted by Neil
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 22:15:29


Subject: Ethanol

Posted by paul sneesby
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 22:04:27

you were more incapacitated by drink than (me and my associate Brian Haney)squared.. but not intoxicated enough to be tempted into anonymous postings to this site at 4 oclock in the morning though the subject matter did seem vaguely familiar..good to zee you again ..hic

Subject: Ghostly Postings

Posted by Neil
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 19:58:08

Has anyone else noticed that occasional multiple copies of what one is typing suddenly posts onto the site without a click on the "Post now" button? I've got goosebumps

Subject: Suing for 200K

Posted by Dave Cassidy
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 18:01:28

Thanks to Ms Hathaway for taking the time to confirm the foot and Mouth story to be true. I am a little suspicious of the determination however; that the individual could sue for 200K. After all wouldn't suing a dead cow be like flogging a dead horse?

Subject: That restaurant

Posted by Neil
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 17:59:26

The slop server referred to is, indeed, located at Sandy Gap but is called "Getty's", presumably either because it serve lots of Italian crap or some very rich American secretly flies to Walney Arport every week and dines there. To think

Subject: Spelling

Posted by Alan T
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 17:54:29

Ciaran, I think you missed they 'Y' from fare didn't you?

Subject: European - further

Posted by Mr Drysdale
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 17:20:28

Aye!.. and I'll bet the chips, beans, and cup of tea were cheaper than you get down in t'London. The view is better as well.
Cue prolonged rant on the theme of superior life to be obtained in Furness

Subject: European Cafe

Posted by Ciaran
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 17:10:17

I think it is classed as a european cafe because it is called "chez paul" and serves Pasta.Predominantly though it does all day breakfast and traditiaonal english fare.I think it's mostly used by people from town having a coffee while their dogs deposit all over the Island.You're right about the location though I think it was actually a first aid station adjacent to the urinals which have long gone to be replaced by a single superloo next to the Roundhouse.Great for attracting hordes of tourists to the area!!By the way if Paul Sneesby is looking in, How inebriated was I on saturday? What crap was I talking? And what was your mate called?

Subject: Europe

Posted by Mr Drysdale
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 16:23:35

Come Well-Travelled.. don't carp. We are in Europe and so a Walney cafe could be considered European and likewise anything they chose to serve could be termed "European". I suspect the cafe in question is located at Sandy Gap and was actually converted from a public urinal! I could be wrong on this perhaps experts (CT) could tesify.
Anyway.. this is nothing to the other unique Walney offering, sadly gone now, which was the combined Hairdressers and Toffee Shop! Hmm yes I can see a few problems there.


Posted by Dr Doolittle
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 16:19:11

Breakfast! I only had time to pinch a loaf before writing to MAFF.
The rest of the day was spent scattering Mars Bars around the local streets. Yesterday saw some degree of precipitation and the abundant piles of dog waste around my elite residence were turned into some kind of noxious soup. The usual hop-scotch ploy was thus rendered useless. I have it on very good authority that chocolate is deadly to most forms of canine life and I want to see the owners wrestling with Fido to make him drop the free, but unfortunately lethal, Mars Bar. Now that's what I would call good TV.

Subject: "European Cafe"

Posted by Well travelled
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 16:11:18

A friend of mine was unlucky enough to visit BiF last weekend and even more unfortunately, due to the continuing foot in mouth crisis, couldn't go walking up the Duddon valley, but instead visited Walney Island. Somewhere on Walney she found a "European Cafe"!!! Where is it, and what makes it so european? She had a baked potato, warmed in a european microwave, with cheese and beans, with a cup of tea. Was she mistaken? or does it really exist? Could an epicurian from BiF please enlighten us?

Subject: Dr DooLittle

Posted by Paul
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 16:06:26

Can Dr DooLittle please tell me what he had for breakfast, where to get it and how much?

Subject: Bean

Posted by George Gissing
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 13:35:33

Does anyone know if C. Blackhurst has actually got the editor's job? I've been having sleepless nights writhing in anticipation.

Subject: Son of Gomez?

Posted by JohnP
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 11:58:38

My daughter went back to school yesterday after her Easter break. When she came home she told me about the new PE teacher who’d threatened her class with twelve press-ups for “not doing stuff properly.” What’s going on? She’s only eight, for God’s sake. I thought this sort of thing had died out with... well, with provincial selective schools that chose to ape the pre-feudal practices of their alleged betters in the private sector.

Hmm, I think a note for teacher may soon be called for... ‘Dear Obergamesmeister, Please excuse Joanna from games for the rest of the term as it is a complete f***ing waste of time.’

Subject: Cows

Posted by Dr Doolittle
Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 11:00:21

The answer of course is to employ the RORO ferries. They aren't safe for people really in any case. We herd the beasties onto the deck and set sail.Now Iceland doesn't have much in the way of farming.. so we land there. A few loads.. say about 1.5 million cows. Iceland does have lots of jolly hot magma.SOoo we then have the biggest mass stampede of cattle ever seen in Iceland and charge them all into a large site of volcanic upheaval. The drovers shall be kitted out in the latest designs from Jean-Paul Gautier, and propel the "Herd" from astride fully chromed custom Harleys. The cattle may find the heat, smoke, and noise a little disturbing so their last meal should contain industrial quantities of largactil. And of course we get Ken Russell to film the whole deal from a range of strategic points, including helicopters. If nothing else we can demonstrate that Great Britain can still mount a really great spectacle.

Subject: Fluids

Posted by Jane Hathaway
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 22:26:33

Indeed that was the cover story...Either the rotten corpse burst and shot corrupt fluid into his mouth..or he was kissing a dead cow.
This is part of the government back to work policy for the unemployed.
I expect to see him on breakfast TV within weeks.. and then the compo case to follow. Should be good for about 200K?

Subject: Foot and Mouth

Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 20:18:11

As i now reside in USA I wanted to rely on a trusted source, but the evening mail web page was down so I though i'd ask you buggersSomeone at work just told me that a human has contracted foot and mouth in Eng (and thought even Cumbria) due to a carcass exploding and fluid getting inside his mouth. Please tell me this isn't so as i think I'm gunna spew.

Subject: Pajeros etc.

Posted by Alan T
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 19:54:25

Surely the Mitsubishi people would have taken the trouble to find out? Look at the problems GM had with Nova/Corsa

Subject: Southern Speak

Posted by Neil
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 16:50:47

Sorry, that should have read "dinnertime".

Subject: Embassy Regals

Posted by Neil
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 16:47:41

Down the Crystal Palace for a few pints at lunchtime, surely?

Subject: BBGS

Posted by JK
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 11:31:34

Neil, you should have been a smoker - you would have learnt all about the entrepreneurial spirit - buying fags at 1p each, and selling them to desperate nicotine-dependent, cash-strapped schoolboys at 3p each, which funded the replenishment of stock, and a clear 200% profit. Enough for an hour's fun on the pinball machines at Brucciani's.

Subject: 4 X 4s

Posted by Dougal
Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 10:55:11

Mitsubishi dont sell their 4 X 4 Pajero in South America either. Somone told me that Pajero is Spanish for

Subject: BBGS

Posted by Drone
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 18:05:05

After 7 years at BBGS I can't even spell entrepreneur.

Subject: Failed sociologist

Posted by Neil
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 16:49:19

Your right, BBGS instilled such a great entrepreneurial spirit in its pupils that it seems daft not to send our kids away to boarding school once they've finished nursery. I'm off to mug my boss!

Subject: 4x4s etc..

Posted by Alan T
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 16:23:03

Aren't they "grey" imports of the Shogun? That well-known maker of trucks, Foden never did well in Brazil, because, allegedly, Foden is Portuguese for f***ed. Someone should write a book about it. BTW Paul, I can get you a scorching deal on bricks and mortar from Dinky Bar-b-Qs-R-Us if you like......

Subject: 4x4s

Posted by The Bashing Bishop
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 13:24:07

The Colt 4x4 that used to be known as something else is now marketed as the "Pajero". In South American Spanish, Pajero means "W*NKER". How apt....

Subject: Night of Love with Watermelon

Posted by Jane Hathaway
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 12:30:30

I only have two objections to school-run 4x4s:
1. The frequent defect in width perception that results in the drivers of such vehicles driving ten feet from their nearside and thus sharing my lane.
2. The firm belief that these people have that depictions of rhinos mating are hilariously funny??

Subject: Dinkys

Posted by Failed Sociologist
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 12:26:10

The recent postings sound like the typical rationalisation of the under-achiever. I agree with Quercus Robur - what we want is more romantic reminiscences of our wonderful school-days. And anyway, I always thought Corgis were much better than Dinkys.

Subject: The Rat Race

Posted by Paul
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 12:21:06

I've just sold my flat for £54k. A tidy profit that should allow me to fund nursery school for the sprog, a new Toyota Landcruiser for my tiny wife and even leave me enough to order the materials for a barbecue.


Posted by Miss Hathaway
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 12:09:45

Lord.. How about doing your bit and upload an image of you using the trouser press?
You old grouch.

Subject: Wood

Posted by Quercus Robur
Monday, April 23, 2001 at 10:54:32

I think the expression was "the wood", not "wood", which in transatlantic parlance means something different. Who wants to be a millionaire anyway?Have to say, the site looks more and more like a typical "ladies" magazine. What with dinkies, barbecue man and the like, anyone come up with a term for those who like to prattle at length about dull sociological cack in their spare time? We're all alright, aren't we? We can just sit back and watch the rat race. None of us struggle to pay big mortgages, or buy decent cars, do we? We need more irony, and more tales of school and stuff. Anybody out there got a barbecue themselves?

Subject: Cont. continued

Posted by Alan T
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 19:47:18

Paul, if you gave him "wood" I'd be a very worried man indeed.

Subject: Blackboard Rubbers

Posted by Elbowless
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 15:16:27

Stiff had me in stitches

Subject: Weekend

Posted by Miss Hathaway
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 15:02:39

Yes.. ... But I'm very concerned about the nature of some of the postings
Someone mentioned some good words for Stiff. Can this be correct?


Posted by Alan T
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 12:56:43

Weekend postings! Wow!

Subject: Dinkys

Posted by Neil
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 11:46:40

Ian has expressed the point perfectly. It's the abrogation of parental responsibility by certain materialistic suburbanites that is so sad, and all for two new cars every other year. Barbecue Man is so geared up for his spending fixes that the brief pre-school period, when kids need their parents' time the most, is lost. There's nothing wrong with Playgroups, which help children's development, but some " nurseries" really are just for plants, not kids! The ironic thing is that much of the money earned by Barbecure Man goes into increased house prices, pushing out the very people who actually need to have both parents working. In Worcester, which is not that expensive by national standards, a 2 bed and box terraced Victorian house now goes for £125,000. As regards working down the shitemine, that sounds like luxury. I'm looking for a job up north, is it advertised in the Evening Mail?

Subject: Insomnia

Posted by lyxdesic
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 11:21:08

Presumably you have noge to deb now?

Subject: dinkies

Posted by ian
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 11:16:13

Sorry if there's any offence been caused by this topic. We're using 'dinky' to refer to a very specific and pretty unbearable social group where money and style are all and kids are a fashion accessory and/or are used as a social weapon - it's not in *any* way passing comments on families in general where both parents work or who put their kids in nurseries, playgroups, etc. Round here, they're known as the Barbeque People. First thing that happens when a member of the tribe moves in is that the bricks, cement, etc, for a barbeque arrive and get dumped on the drive (typically the day after they move in). Given that these guys are such wage slaves and have no free time, the bricks, etc, will remain there for several months until eventually (usually co-inciding with a visit from one of other set of parents) the barbeque will get built. Getting back on topic - I have some good words for Stiff ...


Posted by dyslexic
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 04:59:02

rtygfg jkiuyb


Posted by dyslexic
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 04:58:45

rtygfg jkiuyb


Posted by St.Peter
Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 04:51:00

Does anyone our there have anything good to say about stiff?

Subject: ex-dinky

Posted by sub-ed
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 21:09:28

I'm going to get a proper mans job down the shitemine and leave the brats chained to their ma (chained to the cooker).Thanks for putting me right on that.

Subject: Fat Cars

Posted by Neil
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 17:33:53

Re Ian's message,the same is true of Worcester. Having said that has anyone noticed the number of riduculously large 4x4's in Barrow being driven by vey small ladies on the school run?

Subject: dinkies

Posted by ian
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 16:55:52

I think in most cases it's that they *have* to have two salaries to keep up their chosen lifestyle. E.g. round here (the W Midlands), Nirvana consists of a 5 bed house in Solihull with more ensuites than bedrooms and a new reg BMW 7 series and 4x4 in the drive. If that means working 15 hour days and only seeing the kids at weekends, then so be it. The idea of a less materialistic life but with more time with the kids doesn't seem to have occurred to most dinkies.

Subject: Ex-Dinkies

Posted by Neil
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 15:37:19

The point is that Dinkies tend to cling on to their Dinky philosophies once they have kids, ie dump them in a baby farm so they can keep on earning lots of dosh and let someone else worry about bringing them up. In mind and spirit they remain Dinkies. This tendency is probably not so acute in Barrow as it is in many parts of the country where both parents have greater opprotunities to earn good salaries.


Posted by Liberace
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 14:41:57

What am I bid for Sir Matt Busby's crutches?

Subject: "dinkies" with kids

Posted by sub-ed
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 14:17:43

dinky = dual(or double) income no kids yet shurely ?

Subject: bean

Posted by George Gissing
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 09:53:17

Don't underestimate Bean's abilities - he wasn't just good at golf, but also table tennis.

Subject: Employment

Posted by Ern
Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 09:51:12

Still looking for a job then JK?

Subject: Good News for Ex-Pats

Posted by JK
Friday, April 20, 2001 at 16:45:14

Reading the comments about the Evening Snail I decided to try out the on-line edition. Wow!! It is brilliant in its mediocrity. I decided to experience all it had to offer, so I tried "Find A Job". The good news is, no matter what job title I tried, or industry, it didn't return a single position.

Subject: Excelling Alumni

Posted by Paul
Friday, April 20, 2001 at 13:19:34

I remember that Bean was always good at golf - must have been useful to him when he grew up. What's a "cont", Alan, and is there a spelling mistake there somewhere? If I gave Bean the wood would he do me a good one, too? My brother worked as an ace reporter for the local rag one summer and had to cover exciting local news such as sixtieth wedding anniversaries, stunning local architectural improvements and plans to build new roundabouts, along with the odd Women's Institute speech and Philately Club meetings. The Mail always reminds me of those excellent school magazines with the emphasis always on sporting prowess... Oh!, and by the way, on page 17, under the article on Mr. Dogbreath's dancing chicken, squeezed between the picture of our newly painted town gazebo and the story of Barrow's own golfing crane driver's bid for olympic glory, in minute print and with the end chopped off, is the story of how two handicapped schoolboys raised £3,000 for comic relief. By the way, what's all this about foot in mouth disease? Clear the front page - we've just heard that a man in Dalton has grown a cauliflower that looks like a hedgehog.


Posted by Neil
Friday, April 20, 2001 at 12:22:07

Hello Steve,I'm back in Worcester now. It was nice to be back in the old dump over Easter even though F & M put paid to most of the outdoor stuff. I almost went for a drink with Kenny Richards on Wednesday but the silly lad decided to play football instead. Talking about illicit substances, there were the known partakers, but now I think back it seems to me that many of the uncomprehending expressions in Physics may not have been due solely to the ridiculous concepts espoused. To JK (?)- as prog rock man, I believe that Andy's Records has a lot to answer for in the continuing popularity of twiddly keyboard and guitar playing. On another subject you mention, Bob Rowley bought my parents' house in Abbey Road 11 years ago and turned it into one of those places where 'dinkies' plan to send their preschool kids for the day.

Subject: The Mail

Posted by PFW
Friday, April 20, 2001 at 12:17:14

The bloody Evening Mail.. I don't think they can always be awarded points for accuracy. The web version has the quaint touch of reusing old stories when they are short (!) of interesting items. Barrow has now lost about 30,000 jobs to Whitehaven at last count.

Subject: Local boy made good cont.

Posted by Alan T
Friday, April 20, 2001 at 11:58:03

According to last night's Mail, Chris Blackhurst, late of this Parish, is about to be made Editor of the Independent on Sunday. Champagne all round I think!

Subject: Ahh Memories!!

Posted by Steve Lowes
Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 23:32:41

Nice to bump into Neil Raynor Easter weekend, who introduced me to the site. Can't believe how many 'sadly deceaseds' there are looking through the photos! The old brain had long since forgotten most of the names, but the memories easily come flooding back. Who can remember Geoff Power and stories of illicit substances (I never knew the meaning of the word illicit before Geoff)?

Subject: An old man's fancy

Posted by sad old man
Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 16:33:14

.......When you put it like that....But then.......if the girls were eating ginger biscuits.........

Subject: sad old man

Posted by kinsey
Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 10:13:08

So you're saying that you prefer the pictures of predominantly under-age boys to those of predominantly under-age girls? Interesting ...

Subject: Girls School Photo

Posted by Sad Old Man
Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 17:31:35

I've just looked through the girls' school photo, and either I'm getting picky in my old age, or there weren't half some ugly birds at BGGS. Can someone tell me, did the educational establishment in the 60s and 70s decree that good looking women can't be intelligent?

It's clear that they held no such view for young gentlemen when we view the splendid figures of men represented in the boys' school photos.

Subject: Smash Records

Posted by JK
Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 17:14:48

In reply to Prog Rock Man - I seem to recall that Ray Turner smashed lots of records in the Lower 6th Common Room, who could forget the classic "Willie, Willie Morgan, Willie Morgan on The Wi-ing"? Anyone who witnessed it could not fail to be touched by the sight of Bob "Crump"/"Nanook"/"Res" Rowley's tears as it flew out of the the window and smashed into tiny pieces on the roof of the lean-to.

Subject: CDs

Posted by ian
Monday, April 16, 2001 at 19:20:32

Robinson Crusoe - I remember that Gomez was characteristically humourless when a group of us turned up late for sports evening because we hadn't wanted to miss the final episode. Thanks for the tip about the CD, Derek, I'll order it. Muze Records - there's a name I haven't heard in a while; after Sifter's, just about the biggest drain on my student finances when I lived in Manchester (drugs would definitely have been cheaper). The proprietors of those two shops left me with a vinyl addiction that took years to kick.

Subject: Robinson Crusoe CD

Posted by Derek Walmsley
Sunday, April 15, 2001 at 12:21:21

The CD can be obtained from:-Muze Mail Order, 3 Princess Parade, Bury BL9 0QL. Telephone 0161 764 3013.It's £8.99 plus £1 postage.They've advertised this CD in Q magazine probably every month for the last two years!! Must be a popular seller.

Subject: Fireball XL5

Posted by Dougal
Sunday, April 15, 2001 at 11:39:30

Where I live nobody's heard of it It's never been on tv here but it was one of my favourites. Who can remember "supercar" now that was pretty good too.So how do I get a copy of the Robinson Crusoe CD.


Posted by snez
Sunday, April 15, 2001 at 02:51:37

don't know where the the fireball XL5 thread started but to me ,sad tosser ,nostalgia is made of this,I discussed endearing memories of BBGS with Al Tomlinson recently and XL5 rates right up there with tying your shoelaces in Ma Burr's French Lessons

Subject: Robinson Crusoe

Posted by Derek Walmsley
Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 17:47:08

I've not only the CD but videos of all 13 episodes!


Posted by ciaran
Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 17:40:14

Great song can't wait for the reruns of that.Just got my lad into Thunderbirds classic stuff.On a TV musical note, on of the lads in our CD club at work brought in a whole album of the theme tune to the TV series Robinson Crusoe. Remember that?After a lot of scathing comments, most people listened to it and copied it, happy days!!


Posted by Reverting to type
Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 15:25:45

Won't somebody help me - I've reverted to walking around in my black dufflecoat, shoulders hunched, head bowed against the driving rain, carrying my copy of "Dark Side of the Moon", or "Tarkus", or "Pictures at an Exhibition", or "Machine Head".

Subject: Wrinkly Pants

Posted by JK
Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 07:19:29

It could have been worse, you could have worn baggy shorts in the 2nd year like Jamie Hill

Subject: Fags

Posted by Number 6
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 23:02:09

You weren't a name or a number in the first year, just a laughable , scorned piece of ****. Local shop mentions Tash, quite an unusual and respectful bloke. I recall an incident when a I was a fag seeing a chisel slip and an 11 year old's arterial blood absolutely ruin a whole stack of prime timber. Yet all Tash said was " You chaps are all jolly brave, I'll just call the ambulance".

Subject: Trouser Press

Posted by Wrinkly Pants
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 20:15:45

I didn't have to ask, its just that when I was little, and had just started BBGS, I had a pair of stiff cotton trousers which became very crumpled when I sat in them. My nickname became "Wrinkly Pants" for a while - very hurtful. I thought, having found out about my liking for ginger snaps, you were applying further psychological strain on an already disturbed ego. Kids (and webmeisters) can be so cruel. Tell me - the trouser press, its just the closest thing you could get to an iron, isn't it????


Posted by
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 19:51:31

I am a name, not a number!

Subject: Blackshaws

Posted by Local Shop
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 19:49:19

Ah yes, Blackshaws, the strange shop where the assistants (I use the term lightly) were chained within oversize lecturns, presumably so they could observe Tash's prodigies helping themselves to a couple of extra 3/4" tacks having carefully weighed out a quarter pound. Upstairs did not have the Lecturnites, probably to heavy to transport, or customers, or many records.....should have renamed it "what nobody wants"ps Wasn't move it 1960?

Subject: Dreary Dross

Posted by Prog Rock Man
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 18:12:20

By the time I entered the Lower Sixth in Sept 1974, ELP were old hat, Blue Oyster Cult were cool and King Crimson were very old hat (although they are now very in again!). Oddly one of the most played discs in the '75/'76 Upper Sixth common room was an original 1959 pressing of "Move It" by Cliff and The Drifters (before they became The Shadows). Sad, or what? Ray Turner finally blew his top after repeated playings and smashed the disc into little pieces. Does anyone remember upstairs at Blackshaw's, a great place for drooling over obscure LP's.


Posted by Herr Oberst...
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 18:08:15

"Oooopennn your box".. indeed... a fine piece. B side to "Cold Turkey" I think.
Why the trouser press? You have to ask that?
I couldn't possibly elaborate.I still think the midi is adrift.. possibly because at some point the melody was carried by vox..
Re: beer.. Don't you think that Hollywood was largely responsible for promoting excessive drinking as a positive attribute.. all the classic screen heroes were dysfunctional assholes with a drink problem. Perhaps we could remake them with a realistic theme. The hero is out boozing with his mates .."I coulda.. gonna.. shoulda..." etc etc while the bad guys rob the bank. As for popular music and the resulting expensive drug culture.. let's not go there. Maybe a case for a class action?

Subject: Music was(n't) my 1st Love

Posted by Paul
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 17:56:58

Wasn't "Outward Bound" written by an old boy? The grammar had quite a musical tradition, I recall, but that's only based on about 30 periods of music in my 1st year with Phil Bond. I didn't progress much beyond hitting a triangle occasionally. Weren't two alumni in Jethro Tull? And then of course, there's Ern. My wife's mam's milkman was Gordon Sumner's dad. I don't actually feel that privileged. At school, music had to be T Rex, and in the sixth form, lots of obscure pompous stuff like King Crimson and The Blue Oyster Cult. I do recall the oberwebmeister playing "Open Your Box" by Yoko Ono as we trashed the record player at the end of our occupancy of the Lower Sixth Form Common Room. And someone had the sound track to "Fireball XL5" - I wish I had that now. Anyway, Mrs T, sorry to hear that Alan's not up to responding - hope he recovers in time to go egg-rolling down the Hoad. PS - Why the trouser press?

Subject: Outward Bound

Posted by JP
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 17:12:37

As I recall, Outward Bound was fiendishly difficult to strum along on to the guitar (at least it was for us self-taught three chord rock ‘n’ rollers; ‘proper’ musicians probably had no trouble). I don’t know why, but once I sat down and worked out the harmonies. Chord changes within the same bar? – whoa, hold on there! It even has (gasp!)... augmented chords. You don’t find too many of those in the Iggy Pop songbook.

I see from the sheet music the song ‘should be transposed... to D flat whenever possible.’ Not a chance! Can’t play it in Db, but how about turning the amp up to eleven, and giving it plenty of dB! Will that do? (sorry, couldn’t resist that one, I never quite shared Wilf Kimber’s loathing of puns – even egregious typographic ones!).


Posted by Neil's Mam
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 16:58:55

Neil is coming to see us but he doesn't know you lot so he'll have to stay in. Anyway I've got to train him to stop calling me "mum", - southern swine have got a lot to answer for. By the way, I was brought up in Paddington.

Subject: Our Alan

Posted by Alan Tomlinson's mam
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 16:46:49

I'm afraid that Bons/Paul/whoever got the better of him. He hasn't had a sense of humour bypass, not yet anyway, and will be posting again when he is better. Until then you'll have to do without him. Signed M. Tomlinson

Subject: Cassidy

Posted by Ciaran
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 13:31:30

I'm Sure BBGS old boy and ace hack Frank will know c/o NW Evening Mail.Anyone visiting the folks at Easter?

Subject: I know I'll regret this

Posted by PFW
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 13:15:41

Who is Eva Cassidy?

Subject: Doing the irony-ing

Posted by Stuck on 4 across
Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 12:27:20

Yes, I was unsure of the degree of irony in Bons posting. But then I’m probably just thick. I thought Bons might be an acronym of ‘Blast, Oi’m Nearly Southern’, until Paul pointed out the Times Crossword element to it.


Posted by Wife Beater
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 20:23:55

Kick the dog?

Subject: Entertainment

Posted by Paul
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 19:42:34

Anyone know of an entertaining site anywhere, where people write amusing, inoffensive messages, about mutually interesting subjects in a witty manner? Like this site used to be??? I'm off to the pub for fifteen pints, a good fart and then home to kick the dog (whippet, of course). Irony, what irony? BONS is such an inverted snob, isn't he?!!

Subject: Drink (Feck)

Posted by Ale Imbiber
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 19:16:27

WHAT!!!??? SOUR GRAPES??? We'll be 'avin' nowt o'that poncy wine rubbish lad. Straight to video ale's wot counts - NO ARGUMENTS.

Subject: Clipped vowels

Posted by Alan T
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 17:53:11

Bons is lucky to have made the leap - nothing is worse than some sour grapes to spoil a good laugh, which is the point he's hopefully not missed. Combine this with pots of money, and a good climate, as well as enjoying a decent pint of mild, (like everyone else in the Beautiful South) and he's never had it so good. As Wally Batty would have said. Unfortunately, E-mail is unable to convey irony and sarcasm, so we'll have to hope so.

Subject: Recognition

Posted by JK
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 17:19:10

You can always recognise me because my mobile phone plays

"Outward Bound"

as a ring tone.

Subject: Decent Ale

Posted by Graham S
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 16:33:29

Nowt like a damn good ale to warm the cockles of yer heart in the midst of winter (yes Alan T its snowing here today). None of this gassy poncy lager rubbish. Us ex pats still wear our Flat Caps, black puddings and walk our else would we recognise each other.

Subject: Inverted Snobbery

Posted by BONS
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 15:16:04

Now listen, intit grayt t'ave Northen accent like? 'Ave arl them Soothern muppets wi' money, like, think us in't North'r daft or summat?? I pwefer me whippet'n'pint o'mild, me. I'm glad I left Barrow all those years ago, otherwise this creeping superiority complex based on sod all, might have got me, too.

Subject: Ale and hearty

Posted by Alan T
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 12:43:07

Isn't that just a variation of Scruttock's Old Dirigible? Not what you could call a session beer at 14%, but you know when you've had a Scruttock's tops!

Subject: Beer

Posted by Ale Imbiber
Monday, April 09, 2001 at 19:32:53

No such thing as "lager" round here - wet 'eads, southern nancies and pop drinkers swill that muck. Take a good swallow of Old Farts Noselifter (6.5%) for a proper northern smile.

Subject: Lager

Posted by Northern expat
Monday, April 09, 2001 at 17:11:03

Alan T - Do you mean for hard men down t'poob, or darn the pab?

Subject: Old Age

Posted by Quasimodo (on bells)
Monday, April 09, 2001 at 16:19:42

Sir Henry, I know how you feel. Does this mean I can stop pretending I don’t like The Corrs now?

Subject: The pen is mightier than the S-word

Posted by Jean Le Pen
Monday, April 09, 2001 at 15:38:27

Oh God, I’d forgotten that particular dictat. Now it all comes, er... flooding back... Spending many a productive two minutes bending an empty cartridge back and forth to get the little ball bearing out... Flicking the pen at a blank sheet of paper and then smudging the little blots to make pictures of meteorite showers... Those el cheapo fountain pens with the sort of metal clasp thing that you squeezed to suck up the ink and that invariably leaked all over your shirt pocket. (now isn’t this the sort of thing they should have had on ‘I Love the 1970s’?).

Subject: Pens

Posted by F.E. Tish
Monday, April 09, 2001 at 08:10:01

For the real thing, it must be a fountain pen with dark blue ink. Biros are ok, but only for a bit of rough.

Subject: Plumbing and pseudonyms

Posted by Alan T
Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 19:40:31

Dear Sebastian, I'm so glad that Pater was pleased, but who is Pater? I do have several clients who would fit the bill, one in Dalton does spring to mind, do please let me know. Too many noms de plume etc etc, lets have more openness!

Subject: eva cassidy

Posted by bob harris
Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 19:31:45

I think the 'Over the Rainbow' track is pretty d*** good, but the rest of the greatest hits CD had the same effect on me as the Carpenters - great voice, shame about some of the material.

Subject: Old Age

Posted by Sir Henry Rawlinson
Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 11:02:25

Is it me getting old and mellowing, or is that Eva Cassidy album REALLY good?

Subject: pens envy

Posted by ian
Friday, April 06, 2001 at 21:37:39

F.E.Tish, do you like your pens to be a particular colour or size? What are your thoughts on retractable biros? Do you like up-market pens, or is the cheap Bic more your sort of thing?

Subject: hawcoat

Posted by sebastian flyte
Friday, April 06, 2001 at 21:32:36

Blow the pens (if you see what I mean) - if Hawcoat gets such flack, what on Earth did all you horny-handed sons of toil make of the Croslands Park area? On an entirely unrelated note - Alan T, Pater says you did a grand job with the plumbing the other week.

Subject: Lager etc

Posted by Alan T
Friday, April 06, 2001 at 19:26:45

Isn't the lager top the less effete version of lager shandy, having less lemonade, hence more beer, to be enjoyed? Obviously the choice of the hard man down the pub!

Subject: Southern Fried Speech

Posted by Pippilongvowels (Tut
Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 21:54:23

Does the webmaster talk southern then?

Subject: Comfort

Posted by F.E. Tish
Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 17:12:44

Uncle Tom is quite right - let's get back to more interesting subjects, like Pens - sexy little beasts aren't they!!

Atlantean Hoard